Students passing through the atrium last week might have noticed a large rodent, even larger than that squirrel that mutated after eating the fish served in the Caf. Mickey Mouse paid a visit to UNCG as part of a Disney recruitment program. Mr. Mouse also visited a local elementary school to recruit actors for the “It’s a Small World After All” ride. Mickey explained that child labor laws were being bent to compensate for a “midget shortage”, later claiming that no pun was intended.

Mickey Mouse’s show business career had humble beginnings in 1928. “I remember when Walt cast me in ‘Steamboat Willie’.” Mickey said “Times were tough. Minnie was turning tricks to pay the rent, I was running numbers for the Mob. That was my first honest money since we came over from Russia.”

Background on this, the College Republican president is a girl named Melissa Westmoreland, and UNCG the College Democrats have a more or less nonexistant status at UNCG.

This week the College Republicans are celebrating their “Morals Week”, a week where the group reminds UNCG students that Republicans are the only people with morals. In addition to the group’s normal activities of hating and condemning, this week they will also be lecturing. Their “Morals Week”, or “Hate Week”, as every student outside the group understands it, started on Monday and concentrates on a different issue each day.